Bro, they sell a lot of sick books, nuff said! Nothing is sweeter than the mint feeling that a bro and his chick could get from reading to each other or reading with each other, ya know. This place has like one of the most pure wicked collections of sweet books around. I would freakin’ love to get a sick gift certificate or wicked book from this place for my birthday or May Two-Four. I was actually thinking about this mint coming-of-age novel idea about this young girl whose like pure coming to terms with the changes that life throws at her, bro. Along her journeys she befriends like this totally sweet older woman whose guidance pure changes her whole way of looking at stuff, ya know? And then like sadly the old lady dies and the girl whose all like freakin’ pure grown up by now, like falls in love with this dude and they go through all these freakin’ hardships together and stuff gets serious for a bit, right? But then stuff gets freakin’ weird, right? And she doesn’t know what she freakin’ wants because girls are freakin’ weird like that, even the mint ones. So he’s all like “serious, what’s the deal?” and he follows her and stuff so he gets all up in her like “What? I thought you were freakin’ into me and stuff and now there’s this freakin’ weird stuff going on, and I thought that stuff was all cool and we were freakin’ good, and stuff bro” and she’s all like “That freakin’ old lady from before, right? She told me that life’s freakin’ weird and stuff and that sometimes your stuff gets all messed up and you don’t know what’s going on and that you gotta freakin’ just do your own thing for real, because whatever, I don’t freakin’ know everything, like what’s the big deal here?” The working title is ‘Mint Tina’, because that chick in it, her name’s Tina, right?
Review by UHpinionist Greg M.
ok where do i begin?
well as soon as i walked i felt uncomfortable. it was like being a gay black jew in the south, even though im a straight white catholic in New York.
there was every manner of redneck and white trash in that dump. im pretty sure i even saw an obese gothic woman chain smoking.
but i continued on because i had friends that wanted some cheap food.
so i had 4 dollars left, thats all, i thought it would buy me some sort of sandwich or something. i spent a minute looking at the menu, nothing but huge, lard covered all-american shit-on-a-bun’s all for $5 or so. so i thought, screw it ill just get the cheapest thing there.
i walk up on an obscure line, were there is no real beginning. after reaching the cashier, she asked me what i wanted. i stated i wanted a w cheeseburger (or something like that). she does not tell me how much it costs, she doesnt tell me if thats all that i wanted, she just yells out next, and some ass with a smartphone in his hands thinking he’s freaking king of the neanderthals pushes up to were im standing.
i look at the receipt, just to make sure its under $4. it was $4.30 or something, even though the sign says $4. i ask her if i can change my order, i dont have enough money, and she says, either keep going and change it at the front cashier.
so unwilling to go back to the end of that “line” i keep going. i then change my order. the lady at the front is confused and brings the manager. i repeatedly try to tell here that i do not want the damn sandwich anymore. she then asks me what do i want instead, i asked for a caramel frosty shake. she at that point asked again if i still wanted the sandwich. i replied yet again NO.
so after waiting SEVERAL minutes, after my friends have already eaten, and many people who ordered the same as i had theirs, i finally get my order. only it was a parfait. who on earth mixes up parfait with milkshake? the lady who made it blamed it for reading the screen wrong. turns out that you dont have to read to get a job.
so i finally get my damn milkshake. $3.04 for something that looks like half a McDonalds small, which would have cost me $1.50 or so. and i FREAKING swear someone jizzed in my cup
Review by UHpinionist Jakub T.